WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING
You have been keeping the drama for the television.
Somewhere it was decided that a big feeling at home is a character flaw, while a big feeling on a streaming platform is a subscription tier. So you watch other people's glamorous, beautifully lit nights in 4K, from the settee, being reasonable, and go to bed having felt something vicariously and nothing directly. Your own nights stay tasteful, manageable, lit like a waiting room.
You have a subscription to other people's passion and a strict policy against your own.
